That's from my good friend Mark Twain. I wish I had control of lightning, there are definitely some people I can think of that would get a bolt or two. Also, I'd be the most badass s'more maker ever.
Things that frustrate me/don't make sense to me:
-When watching TV, you press the channel up button to see higher channels. When on the TV Guide, you press the channel down button to see higher channels.
-Enter 99 on a microwave to cook your food for 99 seconds. Enter 100 to cook your food for 60 seconds.
Here's something else interesting: It might just be me, but whenever I'm waiting, say at an airport, bus stop, etc, I feel like the people waiting with me are now my friends. Which is funny, because they're not. And they won't act like it either. Regardless, has anybody else been waiting for something like that for at least fifteen minutes, and there's a person waiting like five feet from you the entire time? By the end I kind of feel like, you know, we've been through some shit together. Kind of like when people get back from the army and they're bonded for life, except on a slightly smaller level. Anyway, I was waiting for my paternal person to pick me up from the Dallas airport and he was running a little late. There was another guy there waiting for his ride too (not from my dad though). It was about half an hour or a little more. Before you get too far in this imaginative venture, let's be clear that over this extended period of time, no words were spoken, and we didn't even make eye contact. However, me and my freakishly childlike imagination took it to another level, and by the time I left, it was as if me and Stranger #1 were the best of friends, if not blood brothers. So naturally, when my dad pulled up, I turned around to the man, for the first time keep in mind, and said, "Alright man, you have a good one, okay?" To which he responded with a bewildered and slightly angry glare. I realized what happened, jumped on my motorcycle, and sped off through a huge explosion. Actually what happened is I realized I had spoken out loud, my eyes widened, I stared awkwardly, turned, got in my dad's car, and tried to forget that ever took place. The jerk could've at least forced a "You too." Obviously common decency is lost on some people.
I find it ironic that Rihanna has a restraining order against Chris Brown for hitting her, and then she comes out with the song "S&M." If you don't know the lyrics, google them. She needs to make up her mind.
Do you want to know something that everybody loves? Surprises. (There are so many puns I could do with this that I've decided to leave them out entirely.) Good surprises, that is. Only the good ones. Not the kind where you think you did really good on a test and SURPRISE!! You have cancer. That would suck. I'm talking about the kind where, I don't know, something happens that is awesome that nobody saw coming. I'm writing about this because as of right now, I am sitting in the San Francisco airport waiting for a connecting flight to Chico, where not a single person knows I'm coming. They are probably all still curled up in their little beds dreaming of whatever the hell sugarplums are. Me? Oh no biggie fries, I've just been up since 4 am central time traveling. But it's cool, I enjoy people watching, and the airport is basically the Mecca of people watching. Especially San Fran, which I'm pretty sure is where the word "diversity" was created. No wait, that was at the Jelly Belly factory, San Francisco was where they created "weird as fuck."
I'm convinced that after the city builds a road, they then hire Waldo to put up the street signs because everywhere I've driven within the last couple days the signs have been behind a bush, a tree and a lamppost. I mean for the most part I know the laws and stuff, but I'm just saying that I'm going to be furious if I get a ticket because I didn't see a sign that was three stories up inside some guys office behind the printer.
Fact of the Day: Rain drops can fall at speeds of up to 22 mph.
Shout out to Jme Alcorn.
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