If a tree falls and there's no one around to hear it, I hope it lands on a philosopher.

Don't get me wrong, I love philosophy, mostly because I love arguing, but some philosophers just need a good beating.  Mostly the modern day ones.  The older ones were discovering, creating, and generally analyzing what could be.  Today, they're just trying to piss people off, and as a result I want to slap them with a crowbar.

Okay, if you ran in the past, you went running.  If you drew a second ago, you were drawing.  If you canoed down a river, you went _______.  Write that word down.  Canoeing.  Take another good look at that word.  It freaks the hell out of me.  The people that came up with the spelling of that word had to be witches.  I don't like it, not one bit.  Which sucks because I really enjoy using those little boat things.

I've decided that all my first dates from here on out are going to be lasertag.  [478.719.0613, call if you're interested and a girl.]  I figure if we go play lasertag, and she enjoys it slash kicks ass, we are meant to be and can make it through anything.  There will be dinner of course, but I'll probably let her pick where, just as a final indicator.  I swear to God if she orders bacon though I'll excuse myself from the table, jog on down to the nearest Kay's or Jared, buy something completely out of my price range, call a minister and have him meet me back at the restaurant, sprint back, straighten up in the restroom, calmly walk back to the table, and demand she marries me on the spot.

When it comes down to it, I would rather let Charlie Sheen deliver my first born child than watch another episode of the Jersey Shore.  Just thought I'd get that out there.

There was a girl in my class this morning who had McDonald's.  There are several things wrong with this.  One, it's McDonald's.  Two, it's eight in the morning.  Three, she had two bags, and I mean the big bags they give when you order a family's worth of food.  Four, well there is no four, but it's still just gross.  I have the metabolism of four people, internal organs made of galvanized steel, and if I eat one McGriddle and I immediately call my lawyer to revise my last will and testament because I'm sure death is coming.  Come on darling, I'm sure there are people that love you.  Please stop eating like that, cause if you don't.....well, cancel Christmas, cause you're going down hard.

Random Fact Of The Day:  Today, March 11th, was Romeo and Juliet's wedding day according to Shakespeare.

Shout out to Franky Davis.