Can you imagine the conversation between Mike Jones and an owl?

It'd be about as intelligent as Kanye's lyrics.  Or anything Larry the Cable Guy has ever spoken.

Reasons Zaxby's is better than friends:

-When you give Zaxby's money, you get something in return, and it's better than money.

-Zaxby's doesn't get angry, moody, depressed, or irrational.

-If you get angry, moody, depressed or irrational, Zaxby's can make you feel better.

-If you eat Zaxby's you won't go to jail.

That's all I can think of due to the extreme hunger that writing this has caused, but the long and short of it is that Zaxby's is possibly the greatest human achievement in the history of history, and if you disagree you either are a satanist, the most extreme case of nonconformist ever, or have been victim to a horrible accident which resulted in your taste buds being removed and/or sever mental damage.

I've got to say, the Yellawood commercials have got to be the most idiotic advertisements I've seen in a long time.  For those of you that haven't been blessed with the magnificent acting that is Yellawood, it is the equivalent of a local car commercial, but it's all over the South.  And it doesn't stop there.  They attempt to include riveting plots to keep you on the edge of your seats.  The only problem is that this advertisement has all the finger-biting excitement of a slow motion chess game played by two monotone chemistry professors.  I'd say that they were ranked as the most hated commercials in the South eastern United States, but I'm not sure that's true and I promised myself I'd never do any more research past what Yahoo Answers could tell me.

I think one of the most depressing things commonly seen on college campuses is bicycle tires sitting locked to a rack by themselves.  I have a personal bias, as I had a bicycle stolen from me a year or two ago (if you'd like to see my retaliation, click here).  Honestly though, how would you feel if you locked up your bike, went to class (or Zaxby's), and came back to see only a front tire?  You have to admit you kind of deserved it for not knowing how to lock it up, but that's besides the point.  It would suck.  That's why, in the off chance that I forget to lock my bike in the correct thief-deterring fashion, I have decided that I am going to wire a few 1 million volt taser devices to my bike that will only be deactivated when the bike is correctly unlocked.  I can see the headline now.  "Bike Thief Incinerated After Trying To Steal The Wrong Bike."

Word of the Day:  Humility.

Shout out to Kayla Blofsky.