Never thought about it that way, did you?
So my cousin and I were talking about having drinks and my grandmother, who we'll call Zazu, joined in the conversation. We, along with my aunt were analyzing the timeless proverb, "Liquor before beer never fear, beer before liquor never sicker" and all of it's other versions. Zazu went on to make it clear that she thought, because of our knowledge of alcohol, that we must drink to much. It was shortly after she said this that my cousin pointed out that when he woke up that morning, Zazu had been drinking a Bloody Mary (ahh how the tables have turned). Anyway, Zazu said that it was different, and we were comparing apples to oranges. In my naivety I had never heard this statement and didn't know what the expression was implying. Apparently it means you are comparing 2 things that are very different and shouldn't be compared to each other. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a problem with this. Apples and oranges? Both are relatively round. Both grow on trees. Both are basically the same size. Both are fruits. Both make healthy and very tasty breakfast juices. Couldn't we have picked two things that are a little more different? Maybe something like apples and, I don't know, weapon-grade plutonium?
At a certain point during my stint in credit card debt, I turned off the light at the end of the tunnel to save on electricity. PG&E is a bunch of stingy communists.
Yesterday at around 6 something in the morning I was setting up camp in the Atlanta airport, for what I thought was going to be a long stay. It didn't end up lasting very long as it turned out, but that's not the main focus of this story. This is about a nice little encounter with my friend Embarrassment. After missing the first flight, I needed to walk to the next available flight. I packed up my things and smoothly began to rise and depart for the next gate. And then it all went down hill. As I stood up, I stepped on the left strap of my back pack, yanking me backwards. I caught myself, but dropped the notebook I was holding, and a few papers came out. As I bent down to pick them up, the backpack then slid over the front of me, and being packed very heavily, took me with it. For those of you who haven't gotten the picture, I face planted. In the middle of a crowded terminal. This may be relatively true for all public places, but in a crowded airport it especially holds true: Faceplanting with all of your luggage has to be the best way to get attention short of firing a flare gun. There is no recovering from that.
I think from here on out every time I see a couple holding hands on campus, I just gonna treat it as a challenge to play Red Rover. Game on, bitches.
I don't mean to sound like I'm basing my life off of South Park, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't have at least a little influence. In California I had become numb to the presence of hippies and such. Then after moving here, I just assumed I woudn't see them anymore. I was wrong. Now they aren't present in the incredible numbers that they were in California, but there are a few, and it's like they are quadrupling their efforts to make up for their low numbers. The man that I saw two days ago was absolutely unbelievable. He was one of those hippies that is so exaggerated that you feel "greener" by just looking at him. The only way that this guy would have ever heard of the word "shower" was because it rhymes with "flower". If this guy had a house it would've been made by 100% recycled recycling bins. It was incredible.
I think orange juice flavored toothpaste would fix a lot of problems.
And on the topic of mornings, here is the breakdown of my time spent in the morning:
1%- Getting out of bed.
3%- Brushing teeth.
2.5%- Getting school stuff together.
3.5%- Making breakfast.
3%- Eating breakfast.
4%- Getting dressed.
83%- Trying to find the right balance of hot and cold water in the shower.
Fear of the Day: Aibohphobia (look it up)
Shout out to Brianna Lea.
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