"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -Albert Einstein

Good.  Because I have the imagination of a 4 year old on acid. (Slightly weird mental picture there.)  Unless it's referring to useless knowledge, I'm chock full of that crap.  If you ever need to know how blimps there are in the world (13), or how many calories you consume when you lick a stamp (1/10), you're only one text away from being enlightened.  Or you can keep reading this blog, it's really your decision.

I recently realized that I like making people laugh.  However, when I hear a joke and decide to remember it for later use, I do not think about whether my friends would think it's funny.  Instead, I legitimately think, "In twenty six years, when I'm in a business meeting with several men of equal or greater age, and the meeting cannot start yet due to a certain person's tardiness, could I tell this joke to ease the awkwardness?  Would it be funny, yet not diminish my professional appearance?  Yes? Then store that shit away."  I call those "meeting-beaters".

Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of drumsticks.  There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

That last one was not me.  That was the late Mitch Hedberg, I was just thinking about that joke and decided to borrow it.  I miss you, Mitch.

I'm glad everybody's getting back to Chico.  Before recently, I've had the social life of a waffle iron.   It's been somewhat repetitive.  I can finally leave my apartment again.  Hooray for populated cities.

I bet Spiderman is amazing at making hammocks.  In other news, has anyone seen my hammock?  It's been missing for about 2 years, so I realize this is a little late, but it doesn't hurt to try.  And I could really use some in-tree, suspended relaxation.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "JESUS SAVES, at Bank of America."  Thought that was humorous.  Also, there is a bone called the humerus, which I think is the scientific "funny-bone".  GET IT?!?  Score one for anatomy puns.

I'm starting to notice things about people when they text.  Maybe I'm just a chapter behind, but I feel like you're either a "lol" person or a "haha" person.  There is no overlap.  It's like, subconsciously, we are dedicated to our team, and refuse to support the other.  It's a rather funny battle.

Well, it's early in the morning (12:17pm) and I am running out of creative juices.  If I were an airplane, I would be crashing and burning.  Okay, that's a little dramatic, I would probably just be landing earlier than planned at a closer airport.

Word of the Day:  Nom.

Shout out to Mr. and Mrs. Blofsky.