In accounting, while writing this blog, a male and female saw what I was doing and sparked a conversation about blogs. The male, who will go by Mickey, and the girl, Minnie, began verbally vomiting on me about their ideas for a blog. Besides the fact that I was barely restraining myself from slapping them in the face with a big ol' handful of "Who Gives a Shit", I was able to painfully endure their conversation. It was towards the end of the class, so class had basically ended and after pelting me with their "brilliant" ideas for music, fashion, and self-help blogs, they eventually asked me what I blogged about. As I packed up the last of my things, I calmly told them that I blogged about what would happen if a cow exploded on a commercial airline flight, and walked out of the class. I have a creeping suspicion that Mickey and Minnie will be sitting on the other side of the room next Tuesday (though I'm not devastated about the idea).
On campus today I was walking by the library, passing all of the vending machines, and noticed that we have a a vending machine for Doritos. No, not like a snack machine that includes Doritos, I mean an entire machine devoted Doritos. Whoever is in charge of the Doritos company is getting a little big for his/her britches, in my opinion. Also, the sheer number of vending machines present was slightly disturbing. At this point, I think we should just through formalities to the wind and go ahead and start making vending machines selling pure cholesterol, or at least cheeseburgers (McDonald's, hop on it).
On the way back from school, I once more passed what could be my least and most favorite billboard ever. It's not that it's design is outrageous. It's an advertisement for a casino here in California. No biggie fries there, still normal. It's the guy in the picture. Phenomenal. Of course he is playing poker and wearing some seriously bad looking sunglasses, but that's not even it. I think the only way I can describe this to you is, and work with me here, if you took Chandler from friends, The Situation from Jersey Shore, and that "Check out my new haircut" guy, and mixed them all together. If your brain didn't just explode from the ridiculousness of this mental image, then you have a general perception of what this guy looks like.
Also, if you frequent this blog then you will be up to date with this next part. If not, please recede back to the last blog post and refer to the section on "morning people". Anyway, this morning I had the exceptional pleasure of having a one-on-one experience with what I call a "Morning Demon". Our rendezvous went as follows: I was calmly and half-consciously walking towards the business building. Captain Insano was storming down the hill from the other direction, with enough force to break the sidewalk. We come upon the age old conflict of walking straight at each other and not knowing who's going which way. I begin to give the semi-awkward smile, acknowledging our plight, when Mr. Gonnakillyou, with all the grace and composure of Andy Dick after a 13 day coke binge, screams at me (voice crack included), "Get the f**k out of my way G*******t!!"........ Wow. Good morning to you too, sir. Please feel free to walk in from of the next available train.
House elves. House elves should be a legitimate commodity. How sick would that be. I have to admit that this was not fully my idea, but that of my roommate, whom I shall call Shaggy. Our apartment would be infinitely cleaner if we had house elves. Yes, this was a Harry Potter reference, and if you did not get it, or have not read the Harry Potter series, do not attempt to make any form of communication with me until you have done so. If you haven't read Harry Potter but have read Twilight, follow the last sentence of the previous paragraph.
Shout out to Davis Paul.
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