If you don't listen to anything I have to say (which is probably a good idea), then at least listen to this. Go get bread, bbq sauce, ranch, and black pepper Kettle Chips, and put all that together. If you don't want to be blown away by the sheer awesomeness of this sandwich, then do not eat it. Don't even look at it. Call somebody with a bigger set of balls to come get it for you. On the other hand, if you are ready to have your taste buds rocked in a way you've never even heard of, then by all means, eat away. And you're welcome.
So today was the first day of school for me and most of my homies (yea, I said it). For most that means just school, but for me it means a lot more. To me, it means I wake up at 6am (I didn't even know that time existed), walked to a bus stop half a mile from my house (cause I'm an idiot and dont have a car), ride 45 mins to school, and get to an economics class at 8am. Yes, that is the whaaaaambulance you hear, and it's comin in hot. I've noticed two things about 8 in the morning. First off, I might be one of two normal guys in my class. The rest of the class is either girls or football players. Secondly, I am coming to realize that at 8am, I have the learning capacity of a blender. This should be an interesting semester. Can I get a hoorah for classes without attendance policies?
The bus, however, could be the most diverse situation I've ever been in, but I won't go into that now.
Another thing I noticed today was the damn near unfathomable awkwardness of the first carpool with a new person. To explain, I'll narrate the thoughts and words of each the driver and the passenger. Let's begin:
[spoken]
Driver: "What's up."
Passenger: "Hey man, thanks for doing this."
Driver: "Not a problem, it's all gravy."
[thought to themselves]
Driver: "Did I just say "gravy"?!? Why the hell did I just say gravy?!?"
Passenger: "Did he actually just say "gravy"?!? I hope this guy's not a rapist."
Driver: "I hope this guy's not a murderer. I wonder if he's gonna pay for some of my gas."
Passenger: "Shit, I hope he doesn't want me to pay for gas."
Driver: "Should I turn on music? I have no clue what he likes..."
Passenger: "Well this is a pretty solid awkward silence."
Driver: "Screw it, I'll just turn on the music, skip a few songs, and then say, "Here, you can choose.""
Passenger: "I don't know what to do with my hands. It feels awkward to just have them in my lap. Should I hold the "OH SHIT" handle? Is he gonna be offended if I do?"
Driver: "Is he holding the OH SHIT handle? Why?! Am I really driving that badly?!"
Passenger: "Crap. I don't know what to listen to! Why did he have to hand me the ipod?! I'll just put it on shuffle..."
Driver: "Holy shit you have to be kidding me. Of all 7,436 songs I have on my ipod, N'Sync WOULD come on."
Passenger: "Seriously? N'Sync? Get me out of this car."
Driver: "Shit. Traffic."
Passenger: "Shit. Traffic."
Driver: "Should I talk about class or something? I literally have nothing in common with this guy."
Passenger: "Please don't say anything to me, we've already passed the point of no return with awkward relationships."
Driver: "There it is! I can see his house!"
Passenger: "Ah! Home! I'm so close!"
[spoken]
Driver: "Later man."
Passenger: "Yea thanks for the ride."
Driver: "No problem."
[thought to themselves]
Driver: "That cheap bastard didn't even offer to pay for gas..."
Passenger: "Time for some nachos..."
That's a rough summary at least.
Movie of the Day: Shrek.
Song of the Day: "Let Me Clear My Throat" by Funkmaster Flex & DJ Kool.
Shout out to Kaitlin Wheeler.
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