Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I use pens, pencils are for people that make mistakes.

I have used that quote, which I "penned" myself, various times throughout the years.  Sometimes directed to friends in a joking atmosphere of superiority, and and a few times to teachers and professors in a serious sense of superiority.  Yes, I am conceited, everybody is, I'm just better at it.  Get over yourself.  Most of the time the receiver of this statement, usually in the math area, takes it in the humorous light.  However, I have had the misfortune of meeting one of those people that manages to take everything under the sun WAY too seriously, and I was "excused" from the class.

I have begun to notice something that happens every time a certain professor of mine walks into the room.  I am obviously always there before him, as is the benefit of being an unbelievably overachieving student (and having the bus get to campus 40 minutes before the class starts).  Everyday, he walks into the classroom and immediately casts a very wary, unbelieving, and even slightly scared look in my direction.  It's like one day he expects to walk in and see me laughing hysterically at a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or be performing my best Scarface impression with a stapler (it's actually quite good).  Anyway whenever this happens,  the natural questions run through my head:  "Is he looking at me or someone else?  WHY is he looking at me?  Is there something on my face?  Is my face missing?!?" You know, the normal stuff.  Oh well, maybe one day he'll let me know, til then I'll just fine tune my Al Capone imitation and wait til the last day of class....

Last Monday I forgot to write about our new kid.  I don't know how he got into the class when it's past the deadlines, but from the look of him it was a combination of blackmail and murder.  He might be the single most intimidating person that I've seen in my entire life (though I do have a short memory).  Seriously though, I had to hand him the role sheet, and was legitimately scared that he was going to turn into the Predator and eat me.  He didn't kill me though (yet) and class went on as normal...until the professor asked him a question.  First off, the question was somewhat off topic, and one that related to constitutionality and morality.  Second off, this guy looked like he had all the caring, sensitivity, and moral fiber of the Unibomber on meth.  He proceeded to mumble angrily until the teacher backed off, and I can honestly say that for the rest of the year, I will be choosing my seat based on the farthest possible opening from him, in case he decides to simply explode.

I think it would be hilarious if someone was allergic to sneezes.  Talk about a vicious circle.

Today was a very entertaining day in economics for various reasons.  First off, our teacher, who on a normal day makes Goofy the cartoon look like a sane and composed person, was having issues.  Serious issues.  Throughout the whole class, he was struggling to write and speak anything.  Normal examples for him were like trying to decided which wire to cut to defuse a bomb in a orphanage.  No joke, he had the decisiveness of a paranoid schizophrenic with daddy issues.  Then, in our class of somewhere around twenty, he realized that we have two girls named Alecia and Alicia.  Just as any normal human would do when dealing with supremely insecure young women, he nicknamed them.  He noticed that one name had one "i", and the other had two, so he called one "Cyclops".  Wow.  May god have mercy on this guys daughter.

Later on in the class, while paying immaculate attention to the lecture about shmeh, I began to think about Harry Potter, like all of you should be doing.  I began weighing the options for the opening night of the new movie (Nov 19) and was thinking about dressing up.  Judge away, if you're not at least considering it then I do not value your opinion at all.  Anyway, I noticed that this release will be comparable to a combination of Christmas and Halloween.  Halloween because everybody will be in costumes, and Christmas because, well, it's obviously the best present I will be getting this year.

Fear of the Day: Phobophobia- The fear of being scared.

Shout out to Sarah Tanner.

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