Sunday, June 12, 2011

Don't judge a book by its movie.

Especially if Ben Aflac is in it.  (Yes I realize that's not how his name is spelled, calm down.)

While you're here, mosey right over there to the right and click that white button that says "follow".  Do it.  Now.

Well, I'm back in Atlanta.  I'm going to call this section "Whine and Dine".  The weather here, to put it lightly, feels like death.  I walk less than half a mile to class, and by the time I get there I am sweating like an NFL linebacker after a 5 mile run.  The humidity hasn't been below 90% since I've been back.  I'd cry if there was any water left in my body.  On the up side I don't ever have to worry about my hot water heater being out of hot water.

My thought process:
I'm hungry.  Fridge?  Nothing.  Freezer?  Nothing..... Might as well try the fridge again.

I think my calculus teacher is insane.  Seriously.  She has a very intense way of talking.  Actually it's more like screaming.  And she looks like a little hobbit.  Also, she teaches calculus.  All signs point to loony.  She makes sounds effects when drawing graphs, too, though that's kind of entertaining.  My favorite/least favorite thing she does, however, is her speaking pattern.  When she talks, she always pauses right before that last word of the sentence.  Every single sentence.  Like even when there is nothing of importance whatsoever at the........end.  It would be extremely frustrating if it weren't hilarious, because when she does that, instinct takes over and everybody assumes she's pausing so we can answer/finish the sentence.  You know, like normal teachers do when they're asking a question, except she's not.  So basically you have the entire class trying to guess the last word of her sentences.  And just to be clear, we're wrong almost every time.

My lab instructor is indian with a Russian accent.  I keep thinking I'm used to it, but every time I hear him speak I twitch.  I'm convinced that there's a Russian chemist named Vladimir, I call him Vlad for short, hiding in one of the closets and throwing his voice to make it look like he's speaking.  Speaking of which, what ever happened to people throwing their voice?  Was that all just a big hoax?  If it's possible it's definitely some kind of evil darkness.

I've discovered many things about myself over the past 22 years.  (I have to admit, I typed 21 the first time.  I don't even know how old I am.  I'm going to take that and run with it, so from here on out, if you tell me to act my age, I take no responsibility for what happens afterwards.)  Anyway, one part of my self-realization experience revealed that I do not handle being ignored well.  So continue that train of thought, here are some other things I don't handle well:
-lack of sleep
-irrationally slow moving people
-hot potatoes
-basketballs
-fighter jets

Also, THIS is absolute black magic. There is no other explanation.

Fact of the Day:  At least ten people a year die from vending machines.

Just to clarify, We here at The Daily Tablet are hard working [cough], honest [cough cough], and stubborn workers.  We do not take kindly to demands and/or threats* so please don't even try.  You know who you are.

Shout out to Kayla Blof.....just kidding, shout out to Tess Armstrong.

*Threats involving theft, pain, or general discomfort will be immediately catered to.

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