Thursday, September 8, 2016

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

Hey Tablets, guess what?  I got impulsive again and bought a ticket to Peru!  What is surprising is that I’ve made every flight involved in getting down here, what isn’t surprising is that I did absolutely no planning for once I got down here.  Luckily the friend I am here with is good at that, so I should be okay.  Anyway, I figured you all missed me enough that I should give you a day-by-day update of my skewed interpretation of everything I do here, so here we go.

Day 1 Update:  Today I woke up to a beautiful Peruvian morning (91% humidity at 9am).  I am larger than the average human here, and their breakfasts are not portioned for people that eat like I do.  We left immediately after my I-am-unwillingly-on-a-diet-breakfast, to go on a tour of some ruins, and on the way back passed a cop pissing in an alley.  I wanted to arrest him, but I don’t know the Spanish version of the Miranda Rights and also I’m pretty sure those don’t exist.

Upon our return, during which we talked extensively about restaurants in the area, we decided on El Mercado in Miraflores, and to say it was good would be an absolute insult Viracocha.  (Google it you uncultured heathen.)  We had an amazing meal of grill octopus that was absolutely drowned in butter beforehand and was easily the best I’ve ever had.  Like, almost bacon level.  We wandered around Lima for the rest of the day until going to try and find shredded cow heart tacos, which I swear is a thing.  We were unsuccessful, but I am not deterred, I have a week left. 

Anyway, we’re heading to Cusco tomorrow and I’ve gotta wake up at 3:45am because sleep is for the weak.  I’ll let you know if I see the Emperor or his New Groove. 

Final Note:  The updates may not actually be on time as I will not always have access to wifi so please don’t yell at me.

Fact of the Day:  There are over 4,000 varieties of potatoes grown in Peru.

Shout out to Jenee Rick.

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