Everybody likes vague.
You know what else everybody likes? The excitement when turning on your phone after a long time of having it off and waiting for it to ring like a spastic, tourette-stricken mobile device for eight minutes while you're showered with text messages, missed calls, voicemails, tweets, and emails. At least that's how it is for me. There is a contrary side though, which happened to me a month or so ago, and that's when you turn it on after a while and nothing happens. Nothing at all. NOT A SINGLE DAMN NOTIFICATION. It is the most demeaning let down ever. I thought I had friends, but apparently when I disappear and they can't get a hold of me they just give up and assume I’m dead. Some friends they are. You know what y'all are getting for Christmas? Anthrax. And a dead raccoon, because apparently that's what I'm worth to you. Jerks.
So a little over a year ago I wrote a blog about carpooling. Holy Balls I've been doing this for a YEAR. Anyway, I not-so-briefly presented an example dialogue between the driver and passenger of some new carpoolers. Here's the link if you haven't read it, or need to refresh your memory. Yea, so I covered most of the panic and general terror that comes with carpooling with strangers, but I just recently was thrown into the same situation again. This time was a little different, as it wasn't a stranger, but it was a new friend, new enough to where you're still a little nervous about what they think of you. And it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if they weren't obsessed with music, and if I didn't listen to the crappiest music on this planet (except Nicki Minaj, I at least have the wherewithal to hate her). So basically my friend hops in my car, and it hits me, "Holy shit, this is my car, I'm supposed to supply the music." Instant panic. It ended up being okay because I realized that I had recently made some playlists to avoid this exact situation, but to fully grasp my alarm you have to realize that the music on my phone has ability to make me seem like a completely normal guy with pretty good taste in music, but at the same time it can make me look like a cross dressing twelve year old. (Let your imagination take you wherever on that one, I don't have a clue what a cross-dressing twelve year old would listen to.) Moving on.
I recently tweeted about how I judge guys on how they react when they walk through an unexpected spider web. It is a wonderful tool of judgment because it really reveals their true manliness, such as my rugby-playing friend who would probably start openly weeping and having seizures because he's deathly afraid that Daddy Longlegs are going to learn to fly and take over the world. Anyway, since then I've added to that statement a few more practical, even deep, ways. I believe that the three things you can judge a person's character on are how they handle lost luggage, a rainy day, and tangled Christmas lights. If you think about it, it really makes sense. That being said, I personally handle all of those things terribly. Lost luggage is cause enough for me to burn down an airport. Rainy days, if too cold for a slip-n-slide, result in me sitting inside watching TV and complaining for the entirety of the rainstorm and probably several hours after that. And tangled Christmas lights? Fuck it, throw em away. They're like $1.15 at Walgreens for 100, stop being cheap and make your life infinitely easier. Chances are once you finally get them untangled you'll have broken at least one of them in an irreparable way and you'll have to buy new ones anyway. (Side Note: I once mentioned arson as a solution when American Airlines lost my luggage, and that went over about as well as a condom in a collection plate. I wouldn't recommend it.)
The other day I saw one of the most surprisingly cool things I've seen in a while. Whilst walking out of my summer class, a guy in downtown Atlanta went flying by riding a wheelie on a moped. Besides being about as useful as being able to juggle scarves, it was cool just because I didn’t expect it at all. Then again, he was on a moped, so that's working against him, but hey, props for being unique. It also got me thinking about mopeds, and I realized that mopeds are one of those things that are never hugely popular, but they're always hanging around, kind of like Brisk Iced Tea or Matthew McConaughey.
Fact of the Day: The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Shout out to Norris Clay.
